I've spent an absolutely absurd amount of hours trying to make men see the pain that they inflicted. I will have the last word in the argument. I will write the long paragraph about the depths of my disappointment only to get either "OK" or worse, blocked. I will sit in tears while he rolls … Continue reading Monday Morning Minute: Do You See My Pain?
The steps up to Ensign Peak Salt Lake City, Utah I didn't grow up to know God. In fact, I grew up with one parent who was a very loud Atheist. I didn't go to church on Sundays, unless it was with a family friend. I didn't learn the basic bible stories as a child. … Continue reading How is God using my pain?
My pain is raw and fresh. I feel like the recently overturned soil in the middle of a field waiting to be filled in with the comfort of validation or, on the other hand, waiting for the toxicity of a chemical spill to seep in and overflow into the Earth. My pain is overwhelming. My … Continue reading Raw & Fresh
I sat in my Psychiatrists office a few months ago giving an update about how my medications were impacting my symptoms and mood. She asked me I feel as happy as I did when I first began taking Pristiq.. that was a huge "HELL NO". She explained that since I was so depleted, my brain … Continue reading Chasing Euphoria
I talked about this on Instagram a few weeks ago but I haven't written about it. I am dating again (YASSS!) I am aware that I said I was taking a 6 month break but in true to me fashion, I decided to end that early around 3 months. You can read my original post … Continue reading I’m Dating
Before I went to a psychiatrist or a therapist, I wholeheartedly believed that my behaviors and thoughts were normal. I always thought "I wonder how other people deal with this" or "Why doesn't it seem like other people are focused on the same things as me?" I can assure you that the PTSD diagnosis did … Continue reading PTSD Symptom Spotlight: Hypervigilance
"Because you are women, people will force their thinking on you, their boundaries on you. They will tell you how to dress, how to behave, who you can meet and where you can go. Don't live in the shadows of people's judgement. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom." - Amitabh … Continue reading Therapy Update: Boundaries Within My Family
I wrote a blog post back in December 2018 Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: What You Don't Understand, besides any post about sex (go figure), this was one of my most popular blogs. In that post I wrote about hiding your condition, trying to keep it altogether with work and within relationships, how to spot … Continue reading Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: Coping Ahead
Has anyone ever tried to make you feel ashamed for being who you are? I have had quite a few people try to minimize me over the years. Family, friends, boyfriends and coworkers. The funny thing is (not funny but you see where I am going..) nobody was ever worried about me when I was … Continue reading I won’t be minimized so.. stop trying
"Just get over it!" "That was a very long time ago." "It is what it is." "You shouldn't be affected by that." "At least it wasn't rape." "You could have it a lot worse." "Why are you still thinking about it?" "You need to move on with your life." "Not every guy is like that." … Continue reading Just Get Over It