Raw & Fresh

My pain is raw and fresh. I feel like the recently overturned soil in the middle of a field waiting to be filled in with the comfort of validation or, on the other hand, waiting for the toxicity of a chemical spill to seep in and overflow into the Earth. My pain is overwhelming. My … Continue reading Raw & Fresh

Chasing Euphoria

I sat in my Psychiatrists office a few months ago giving an update about how my medications were impacting my symptoms and mood. She asked me I feel as happy as I did when I first began taking Pristiq.. that was a huge "HELL NO". She explained that since I was so depleted, my brain … Continue reading Chasing Euphoria

Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: Coping Ahead

I wrote a blog post back in December 2018 Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: What You Don't Understand, besides any post about sex (go figure), this was one of my most popular blogs. In that post I wrote about hiding your condition, trying to keep it altogether with work and within relationships, how to spot … Continue reading Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: Coping Ahead

Alone, not Lonely

Have you ever been with someone and never felt more alone? I have been in several relationships that I would consider "serious." Sure, I am only 27 but I have been dating since I was 15 and every boy/man I dated I thought I was FOR SURE going to marry him. The thing is, within … Continue reading Alone, not Lonely

How I Started To Love Myself

This isn't me but I was too lazy to find my own photo so here is a stock photo of a woman loving herself. Self hate can look like a lot of different things, right? It could be stifling your creativity, it could be self harm, it could be not getting the help that you … Continue reading How I Started To Love Myself

Why I Still Go To Therapy Even Though I “Feel Better”

I have been "in" therapy since November 2017. Now that I am thinking about it, I don't think I have ever consistently seen a provider for this long. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I absolutely love my therapist, Camille. Is she my person? Yes. If I told her … Continue reading Why I Still Go To Therapy Even Though I “Feel Better”

Incapable of Support

"Well, if you hadn't been such a fuck up, your life wouldn't be this way now." "I really think you should stop writing about your personal life on the internet." "Why would you change your hair?" "You shouldn't be dating as a mom." "If you lose weight, you will find a husband more easily." "Don't … Continue reading Incapable of Support

Blossoming Part 2: The Tougher Days

Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life  "You're an inspiration" "You are so talented" "You inspire me to talk about my own mental health" "You're happiness is contagious" "You are absolutely hilarious" or my personal favorite "Please sex chat me" Yeah.. and I am wildly depressed sometimes and other times I am … Continue reading Blossoming Part 2: The Tougher Days

Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life

You've probably heard that one small change in your life can impact all the other aspects of your life, right? For instance, working out can make you want to eat healthier (or so they say). I am very body positive and against classifying foods as healthy and unhealthy, you can read about it here. Anyway, … Continue reading Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life

When will I feel better?

The thing is, nobody can answer this question. Not me, not my therapist, not any of my friends. I think the hardest thing is that nobody truly knows how I feel. Nobody knows that sometimes its hard to get out of bed and already be tearing up between walking to my bed and the bathroom … Continue reading When will I feel better?