How I Started To Love Myself

This isn't me but I was too lazy to find my own photo so here is a stock photo of a woman loving herself. Self hate can look like a lot of different things, right? It could be stifling your creativity, it could be self harm, it could be not getting the help that you … Continue reading How I Started To Love Myself

Why I Still Go To Therapy Even Though I “Feel Better”

I have been "in" therapy since November 2017. Now that I am thinking about it, I don't think I have ever consistently seen a provider for this long. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I absolutely love my therapist, Camille. Is she my person? Yes. If I told her … Continue reading Why I Still Go To Therapy Even Though I “Feel Better”

Incapable of Support

"Well, if you hadn't been such a fuck up, your life wouldn't be this way now." "I really think you should stop writing about your personal life on the internet." "Why would you change your hair?" "You shouldn't be dating as a mom." "If you lose weight, you will find a husband more easily." "Don't … Continue reading Incapable of Support

Blossoming Part 2: The Tougher Days

Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life  "You're an inspiration" "You are so talented" "You inspire me to talk about my own mental health" "You're happiness is contagious" "You are absolutely hilarious" or my personal favorite "Please sex chat me" Yeah.. and I am wildly depressed sometimes and other times I am … Continue reading Blossoming Part 2: The Tougher Days

Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life

You've probably heard that one small change in your life can impact all the other aspects of your life, right? For instance, working out can make you want to eat healthier (or so they say). I am very body positive and against classifying foods as healthy and unhealthy, you can read about it here. Anyway, … Continue reading Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life

When will I feel better?

The thing is, nobody can answer this question. Not me, not my therapist, not any of my friends. I think the hardest thing is that nobody truly knows how I feel. Nobody knows that sometimes its hard to get out of bed and already be tearing up between walking to my bed and the bathroom … Continue reading When will I feel better?

Part 1: So, just tell me about middle school then

When I think about my life, I think about it in phases or segments. Its compartmentalized to different years like before I moved to Houston or after I was sent to boarding school or after I had consensual sex. I don't think of my life as a fluid progression. I almost feel like a different … Continue reading Part 1: So, just tell me about middle school then

The Next 6 Months

Recently (Yes, like 5 days ago) I decided that the long distance love thing wasn't working for me. When I think about a relationship or getting to know someone, I think about doing the most normal things together but they feel like magic. Like, going to the farmer's market or after sex Netflix binge watching. … Continue reading The Next 6 Months

Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: What You Don’t Understand

Highly functional in the realm of mental illness is typically described as someone who has many symptoms of a mental illness or is diagnosed with a mental illness but continues to work and live life in a somewhat "functional" way. When I met my therapist, she described some of the patients that she typically works … Continue reading Highly Functional and Mentally Ill: What You Don’t Understand

Living With The Regret of Not Getting Help Sooner

I started seeing my therapist in November 2017. Soon after that, I went to see a psychiatrist (the first one I saw didn't listen to me at all and it was just a bad connection *cue the old AOL dial tone noise*). I went to see another psychiatrist and the medicine she has prescribed has … Continue reading Living With The Regret of Not Getting Help Sooner